I didn't have the kids around this weekend;
Just spent some time by myself, getting up to date with sleep (it's been a rough couple of months on that department, been chatting around an awful lot with an insomniac lovely lady and I get up early in the morning...), reading a few pages, surfing, job hunting, no serious stuff.
I actually don't know that much where I'm going right now...
I'm talking about Life in general...
I have some important decisions to make, some regarding money, some regarding family. I quit trying to decide anything about love because it never ever turns out the way I want expect.
But all of the above are getting me in a turmoil.
I once wrote - and if I didn't write it I told it to a lot of people, I'm sure - the only way (for me, up to now) to get over someone is to find the next one.
I NEED to find that next one.
The good part in this is that intelectually I know exactly where I am, but this sack of blood, shit, sperm and bones is not that good at acknowledging what the mind tells it (a bit like a slam by Grands Corps Malade http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvmG8vjm-Q8).
I live a period in life where problems (money, divorce, etc) are starting to untangle, where I have people who care for me and people I care for, but I'm not happy and I don't like it.
Better yet, I decided to do something about it.
I just don't know what!
It would be a lot easier if the people I care for and the people that care for me were one and the same, so I guess that should be my priority.
But I told you before I stopped trying in that department, due to that want expectectations issue.
Life isn't made of dreams, even if I sometimes wish it were.
In the mean time, I've got my books and my music and someone to talk to and have interesting conversations, so I'll just make the best out of it while I don't reach a conclusion.
You'll be in it, for certain, whichever it is.
C you around
hmm you sound a bit sad in this post... time for a life change indeed! Keep dreaming, life's so short anyway, we gotta try make dreams come true!
RépondreSupprimersad? no, no, really.
RépondreSupprimerdesoriented, maybe.
i fear my present dreams do not require my sole contribution to be fulfilled, there's something else amiss.
and i don't know what to do.
so i try and make the best out of what i have right now, as one should always do (though i'm a pessimist, most of the time).
if you care to lend me a hand to keep on dreaming things will go better, that's for sure!
(well, don't you already do that everyday? why yes, i think you might...)
kiss kiss bang bang missy!