window to the world

is this my new window to the world?

i regret already having shared this url with too many ppl, I already feel restricted in what i write or not
in the long term i suppose it is of no importance, i woun't give a fuck if someone reads what i wrote in the past

but right now i feel like writing about sex, emotions, decisions and life and this won't be the place to do it anymore - too many potential readers

i do ask myself what's the point of a blog, then...
...i suppose it replaces the (now) old-fashioned intimate journal, but being accessible to a lot of different ppl through our own modern ocean we so like to surf, it becomes kind of pointless... besides, i type faster than i write, nowadays...

what pushes ppl to bare their souls for the world to see?

why am i doing this and feeling the need to do it?

do i need to communicate that badly? whom am i writing to? do i expect answers?

my present answer to all my questions is just i don't know

this is not my first "unconfort" post in this blog, and i tire of this ranting myself...

i have a plan for this blog - i'll be using it to write the "book" i've been telling myself for years i shall write

the one where the action takes place in two different places and three different epochs in time, where cause and relation do not follow logic, where the flap of butterfly wings just cause a sceptic to fall from his pedestal and look for a soft bosom to lay his head on

i believe i'll start doing that as of my next post

and i might (or not) start a new, more personnal blog sans readers, where i'll be abble to express myself without fearing the consequences or the impact of my words on others

i'll think about that one, because i can achieve the same feeling of pouring my soul to the paper just writing a doc file...

in any case, this blog will keep on living, at least for a while, so

C you around